I’ve had an extreme parenting journey, brought on by an extremely challenging child, who has pushed me far beyond my limits, and tested more boundaries than I thought existed. It’s been unbelievably tough. Because of this, I’ve read and researched … Continue reading
I’m sure many of you read Sheryl Sandberg’s gritty and authentic piece about grief last week.
Her “option B” analogy resonated with me.
While my journey has been vastly different to hers, the last 5 years of parenting have presented me with what have felt like impossible mountains to climb. Option B battles that I did not want to have to face.
The behaviour of one of my children has devastated our family environment. I’ve felt helpless, despairing, desperate, overwhelmed, alone, and in a situation way beyond my capacity.
We’ve seen child psychologists, family therapists, psychotherapists, naturopaths, parenting coaches, doctors, paediatricians and the rest. And none of them have had answers. None of them have offered a key to change.
And it’s felt beyond impossible.
Most of us can probably identify an option A we’re aiming for, in parenting, or another aspect of life (and I’m using “option A” here to refer to whatever we hold as the “ideal” life). For me, that’s a healthy, happy, functioning family. Not one fraught with tension, angst, and misery.
But for all of us, at some point, life presents us with an option B. It’s not what we planned for. It’s not what we hoped for. It’s not what we imagined.
I’ve been hanging on to hope for my option A. For a different path. A better path. But I haven’t been able to change the path I’m on. It’s an option B path. And I’ve come to realise that investing all my energy into trying to change the situation, just piles more angst onto the angst of the situation itself.
So slowly, slowly, I’ve been changing my approach. I’ve been investing more energy in doing option B well. I’m seeking to better appreciate what I do have, to be more mindful and grateful for the moments that are good, however tiny they may be. And I’m aiming to incorporate more things into my day that bring joy and relief. Little things. Like exercise, meditation, reading, time to myself, a bunch of fresh flowers, coffee with a friend. Things that bring me joy.
Because we only get one shot at this life. And while life doesn’t always offer us option A, in the words of Sheryl Sandberg, “let’s kick the shit out of option B.”
Happy New Year to you! I hope it’s started well for you so far. We’re about to renovate our house, and the other day I started having a mild freak out about how I was going to manage wrangling 3 small … Continue reading
I did it!!! My achievement of the year was finally completing these Tapestry Kits – it’s been on my to-do list for the last year. I’m more than a little deadline driven, so when a friend asked me to make … Continue reading
Well hello there. I’ve been offline for a while. It’s been good actually. An unplanned, but welcome break from the digital world. The needs of the little people in my 3D world demanded my full attention, drained my resources, and … Continue reading
The rate at which kids change, mature, develop and grow up can make you feel like you’re going slightly mad at times. One minute you’ve established one routine, and you juggle the rest of your schedule to work around that, … Continue reading
As Christmas fast approaches, do you find yourself caught up in the excitement of the kids in your lives, or frantic with the stress of it all? May you find time and space to breathe this season. May you let … Continue reading
While in the thick of Christmas shopping, I’m still mulling over how to navigate this season ethically, mindfully and creatively. I wrote more thoughts on this here. My latest issue is this: There are loads of charities that organise distributing … Continue reading
Annual traditions build some of the best childhood memories. And despite the message we’re bombarded with by advertisers at this time of year, traditions don’t need to be extravagant or expensive. Simple is good. As I talked about in this … Continue reading
With Christmas decorations and music everywhere you turn (in the shopping malls at least) I’ve been dwelling on the whole gift-giving thing of late. Buying a whole load of stuff, for a whole load of people, who get a whole … Continue reading